A Portrait of Marguerite Read online

  As I drive into my garage, I spy my forgotten easel up in the rafters, wedged between two-by-fours and plywood scraps. I use a stepladder to pull down my old friend, then haul it into the kitchen.

  Glancing at the phone, I recall Mom’s words, which still hum in my ears like a comforting lullaby. My parents will go to counseling. It doesn’t guarantee reconciliation, I know, but it’s a move in the right direction.

  Maybe all things really do work for good for those who love God.

  I lug the easel and the paints and canvases Henry gave me upstairs. A sense of hope lightens my steps. From what Henry said, God is compassionate, far more than I could ever be. With his forgiveness comes freedom from the past. As I embrace this truth, I feel the talons of shame and regret beginning to release their hold on my world.

  I plant a foot on the landing, feeling rooted to my foundation, secure. I’m not alone anymore.

  Breathing deeply, I expand my lungs, then pray: Dear God, please help me accept this situation with Rob. Watch over him and Andrea and my future grandchild.

  I can’t fathom how any good can come from the pregnancy, but maybe, somehow, God will turn it into a blessing.

  As I enter Rob’s room, I glance into the mirror above his bureau and find a radiant woman gazing back. The morning Rob left, I reeled in agony, tears cascading down my cheeks. Today I see vitality, confidence—and something stemming from deep inside me that lifts my features and brightens my eyes. At first I think this new Marguerite is Henry’s doing, but I know he cannot transform me any more than a sculptor can fashion a living being out of clay. Then it dawns on me: What I see is God’s love reflected in my face. Amazing. I wonder if Emily will notice the difference the next time we meet.

  I feel as though I am in the eye of a hurricane, standing in the calm center. I open the easel. Tightening the screws, I give them an extra twist.

  God, I’m not strong enough to face Phil and Darla by myself. I ask for your help in dealing with them, too. Whether I ever grow to like Darla doesn’t matter; it’s time to let go of bitterness, and of Phil.

  A sense of peace washes over me.

  I rest a canvas on the easel, and the northern light dances across its surface. A smile widens my lips as I visualize a new horizon of infinite possibilities. I open every tube of paint and squirt colors onto a plate.

  I give my life to you, God. Please guide my hand.

  I dip my brush into the cobalt blue. Then with a long, fluid stroke, I form the first bold line on the canvas.

  If you enjoyed A Portrait of Marguerite, I would be honored if you would tell others by writing a review. Go here to write a review on Goodreads.

  Thank you!

  —Kate Lloyd

  READERS’ GUIDE

  For Personal Reflection or Group Discussion

  Over the course of this novel, Marguerite Carr struggles to recover her artistic passion and learns to forgive others and herself. Forgiveness is one of the major themes of A Portrait of Marguerite. As you answer the following questions, think about broken relationships in your life that could be healed by the power of forgiveness.

  1. How does Marguerite feel the evening of her first drawing class, and how does her level of confidence compare to her college days? Why does Marguerite long for her instructor Henry Marsh’s approval? What happens when a person bases his or her worth on the approval of others? How can pride and fear of failure keep you from using your God-given talents?

  2. Why did Marguerite give up her dreams of becoming an artist? Who is Marguerite’s biggest critic? When have negative voices in your head, calling you a failure, discouraged you from taking action? How did reading a book on recapturing creativity impact Marguerite? How can a person reclaim his or her creative passion, whether it took root in the kitchen, the garden, or sitting at a piano? When you were a child, what was your greatest aspiration? How can you incorporate this dream into your adult life?

  3. What does Phil represent to Marguerite? What positive and negative traits do you see in him? How does Marguerite’s continued bitterness toward him hurt her and their son, Rob? How does she react to Phil’s newfound sobriety and his accomplishments as a sculptor? Is it possible for people to change? Why does she feel the need to compete with him for their son’s admiration?

  4. Why does Marguerite fight her attraction to Henry? What is her attitude toward artists as potential spouses? In chapter 2, when Marguerite sees Henry’s marvelous paintings in the gallery, how does she first react? How does this change when she realizes he painted them? Marguerite will never paint exactly like Henry; she brings her unique talents and emotions to the canvas. How is it possible to be a success without being the best?

  5. Marguerite has relied on her son, Rob, to give her life direction. In chapter 3, how does she feel when Phil and Darla whisk him off to college? When have you experienced despondency and felt there was no end in sight? With an empty nest, how does Marguerite attempt to fill her days? How do her walking group friends attempt to bolster her spirits?

  6. Fellow classmate Emily takes an interest in Marguerite. What do these two women have in common and how are they different? What can Emily offer Marguerite that her girlfriends and mother cannot? In your own life, how has an older friend or mentor’s wisdom affected you?

  7. How does Laurie encourage Marguerite with her drawing? Who are your encouragers? In the second half of chapter 6, how does Marguerite react when Laurie says she’s fed up with her husband and is interested in another man? Why do Laurie’s musings strike home with Marguerite? How would you counsel her?

  8. In chapter 9, how does Marguerite feel when she steps into her parents’ home? The eldest child, Marguerite compares herself to her younger brother and sister. Do you think her parents would agree and why? What is Marguerite’s reaction to her mother’s questions about a new beau? Marguerite has placed her father on a pedestal. When her mother claims her father still meets with his former employee Alice, what does Marguerite think? What is her reaction when her mother says God rescued her?

  9. Why does Marguerite feel awkward visiting Henry’s studio in chapter 10? Why is she unable to accept his compliments about her drawing ability? Henry mentions he works best in a studio with few distractions. In your home, where could you find a place to lay out craft and art projects, or set up a music stand? Why would having a workspace set up all the time make you more likely to start and finish projects?

  10. Why does Marguerite finally agree to go on a blind date? What is Tim like and how does he compare to Henry? Logic tells Marguerite that Tim embodies all the qualities she’s looking for in a man, yet she doesn’t find him attractive. Why do you think that is? In the past, why has she dated men she didn’t really care for? What does her cairn terrier, Charlie, think of Tim?

  11. In chapter 15, when Marguerite drives Henry home, why do you think he chooses to share his loss with her? How did his wife’s death affect him? How did his two daughters force him to reenter the human race? How did his terrible loss eventually improve his painting? What is his house like and why does it surprise Marguerite?

  12. What are some of the challenges of working at a commission-only job like selling real estate? In what ways is partnering with Lois a good business move? How does Lois let Marguerite down and how is their relationship later mended? When in your own life has a friend or family member, who appeared polished and successful, proved to be otherwise?

  13. In chapter 22, when Marguerite creates her first painting since college, what are her emotions? Why does she choose to share her victory with Henry instead of Tim? Later that evening, when Phil calls to tell her about Rob, Henry assures her God can change darkness into light. When have you witnessed this in your life?

  14. In chapter 24, how are Marguerite’s images of her father shattered? Why did she go looking for him and whom does she confront? In chapter 26, when she finally tracks him down, what is his initial response? He once told Marguerite, “A man’s only as good as his word.” What are yo
ur thoughts about this statement?

  15. In chapter 28, Marguerite recalls the day Phil walked out on her and their infant son. When has a significant person in your life disappointed or abandoned you, making you wonder if God deserted you too? Do you believe that all things work together for good for those who love God? How is God’s timing different than ours?

  16. Why was Charlie’s getting lost particularly frightening for Marguerite? Why does she blame his disappearance and Rob’s situation on herself? At the end of the chapter, when Marguerite and Henry are in her kitchen, he gives her permission to paint badly. What does he mean? How does striving for perfection stop you from trying new things?

  17. Marguerite has kept a part of her life a secret. Do past mistakes haunt you, keeping you from achieving intimate relationships because you’re afraid friends and family members will think less of you if they find out? In chapter 31, how does Emily describe her faith in the God she cannot see but is sure exists? Do you notice God’s love reflected in the lives of those around you? Why does Marguerite feel unworthy of God’s forgiveness? What is Emily’s response?

  18. In the final chapter, Marguerite is shocked to find Henry has painted her portrait. How would you feel if someone painted your portrait? When has someone prepared a special meal, spoken words of encouragement, or given you a gift that demonstrated the same affection? In the painting, Marguerite is stepping from a drab world into a colorful flowered meadow. What do you think the open door represents? How is her life transforming?

  19. Why does Marguerite think she can’t escape her past? How does Henry react when she reveals her darkest secret? What would you say to her? Henry tells Marguerite that God’s forgiveness is free for the asking. How does he illustrate his point? What does Marguerite experience when she finally lets go of bitterness and resentment, and is willing to trust God? How does she feel mounting her stairs and setting up her easel? In your own life, how has God turned a heartache into a blessing? What is preventing you from creating your own masterpiece?

  For information about Kate Lloyd visit her Web site at

  http://www.katelloyd.net.

  About the Author

  KATE LLOYD lives in Seattle with her husband, Dr. Noel G. Lloyd, DC. She was born in Baltimore, Maryland, but shortly thereafter her family moved to Seattle where she grew up among a colorful household of artists and intellectuals. After earning a BA in Art with a minor in Art History from the University of Washington and Western Washington University, Kate worked a variety of jobs, including restaurant proprietor and car salesman. When not writing, she enjoys singing, studying Italian, and beachcombing on Camano Island. She hopes to inspire readers to explore their creativity and learn about God’s forgiveness. A Portrait of Marguerite is her first book with RiverOak.